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Written by: Sierra Garthwaite, Psy.D.

Procrastination is a common challenge among professionals in high-demand fields, often arising from stress, perfectionism, fear of failure, and emotional avoidance. Rather than a time management issue, researchers increasingly recognize procrastination as a form of emotional regulation gone awry. In this model, people delay tasks not because they don’t care, but because completing the task is associated with unpleasant emotions, like anxiety, boredom or self-doubt.

People often procrastinate to quickly feel better in the moment- they avoid tasks when they’re feeling stressed or down on themselves. Individuals who are more self-compassionate and who use adaptive emotion regulation strategies are significantly less likely to procrastinate, suggesting that how we relate to our emotions matters more than sheer willpower.

When procrastination becomes chronic, it can impact workplace productivity, personal satisfaction, and mental health. Symptoms may include racing thoughts, guilt, sleep disturbances, or avoidance behaviors such as scrolling, snacking, or perfectionistic rumination. Over time, unchecked procrastination may lead to burnout and eroded self-efficacy.

Fortunately, several strategies can help interrupt this cycle:

Break Tasks into Bite-Sized Actions: Procrastination often feeds on ambiguity. Make a specific plan for when and how you’ll take action ("If it's 9 a.m., I’ll open the document") to anchor micro-goals. Visualizing future task completion significantly increases follow-through, especially when tied to meaningful goals.
Practice Self-Compassion Over Self-Criticism: Harsh internal dialogue like “I’m lazy” or “I always mess this up” can actually make procrastination worse. In contrast, using self-compassion (for example, saying to yourself, “I’m doing the best I can right now” or “It’s okay to make mistakes; I can still move forward”) is linked to higher motivation, better emotional balance, and less avoidance.
Use “Temptation Bundling”: Pairing a necessary task with something pleasant (e.g., listening to music while answering emails) improves task engagement..
Focus on Managing Your Emotions, Not Just Your Schedule: Strategies like mindfulness meditation, physical activity, or short breathing exercises can calm the nervous system, reducing the emotional resistance to beginning tasks. Procrastination often diminishes when people feel safe and grounded in their bodies.
Set Boundaries Around Task Initiation, Not Just Deadlines: Consistent boundaries and structured time blocks contribute to more sustainable task engagement and decreased overwhelm across professions.

At UCSF, resources like the Faculty & Staff Assistance Program (FSAP) can provide brief counseling to support professionals struggling with procrastination. Additionally, self-compassion classes and mindfulness-based stress reduction programs can serve as helpful resources.

In high-performance environments, the goal isn’t perfection, it’s consistent, values-aligned action. By addressing the emotional roots of procrastination and implementing manageable, research-backed strategies, we can begin to unstick ourselves and stay connected to the purpose behind our work.

Citation

Freund, A. M., & Wrosch, C. (2022). When to hold on and when to let go: The psychology of goal adjustment in the face of uncertainty. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 31(4), 355–361.

Citations

Neacsiu, A. D., Bohus, M., & Linehan, M. M. (2014). Dialectical behavior therapy: An intervention for emotion dysregulation. Handbook of emotion regulation, 2, 491-507.

Gross, J. J. (1998). The emerging field of emotion regulation: An integrative review. Review of general psychology, 2(3), 271-299.

Hu, T., Zhang, D., Wang, J., Mistry, R., Ran, G., & Wang, X. (2014). Relation between emotion regulation and mental health: A meta-analysis review. Psychological reports, 114(2), 341-362.

MacLeod, A. K., & Conway, C. (2005). Well‐being and the anticipation of future positive experiences: The role of income, social networks, and planning ability. Cognition & emotion, 19(3), 357-374.

Kraiss, J. T., Ten Klooster, P. M., Moskowitz, J. T., & Bohlmeijer, E. T. (2020). The relationship between emotion regulation and well-being in patients with mental disorders: A meta-analysis. Comprehensive psychiatry, 102, 152189.

Written by: Romy-Michelle Unger, PsyD.

The grieving process after losing a loved one — be it a family member, partner, friend or colleague — is often met with sympathy, understanding, and grace. However, losing a pet can evoke just as deep a grief response as losing a human companion. While the death of a pet can be incredibly impactful on a person’s mental health, the culture around us doesn’t hold such a loss in the same regard, which can contribute to an experience known as disenfranchised grief, or grief that is believed to be illegitimate (Park, R., Royal, K., & Gruen, M., 2023). This can make the grieving process even more challenging for the bereaved, as they can be encouraged by family and friends to move on quickly and replace their pet before they are ready.

It’s important to acknowledge the role that our pets play in our lives. We form attachment bonds to our pets in ways that resemble the attachment bonds we have with relatives and chosen family (Sable, 1995). Pets are often a source of unconditional love that helps their humans navigate difficulties and losses, particularly when human contact was limited during the pandemic (Behler, Green, & Joy-Gaba, 2020). They are dependent on us as their caretakers in ways that help us keep a routine and stay motivated to keep going, even during the most isolating and challenging times.

Sometimes, because of the lack of social approval and support, it’s hard for us to acknowledge that losing a pet impacts us deeply. However, if you are currently experiencing grief from such a loss, it’s important that you give yourself the same grace that you would to anyone who is grieving the loss of a loved one. Feel your feelings as they arise, and give yourself the space to process the loss of your companion.

It is, of course, important to acknowledge that grief has its own timeline and may get activated outside of our conscious control. That said, there are rituals we can use to intentionally carve out space for ourselves to feel challenging emotions within an emotional container. For example, sometimes it can be helpful to set out a candle with a photo of your pet in an area of your home that feels private or special to you (or your pet). After lighting the candle, recall some special moments with your pet, particularly ones that bring up joy, while acknowledging the feelings of loss. Allow yourself to feel the spectrum of elation and grief as the emotions rise and fall. When you feel like you’ve reached capacity, or expressed the emotions you’ve wished to feel, you can blow out the candle. Lighting the candle can act as a symbol of containment for your grief, so you have agency to move in and out of your grieving process. If you feel comfortable, you can invite others to sit with you, and ask them to share their stories as well.

References

Behler, A. M. C., Green, J. D., & Joy-Gaba, J. (2020). “We Lost a Member of the Family”: Predictors of the Grief Experience Surrounding the Loss of a Pet. Human-Animal Interaction Bulletin, (2022).

Packman, W., Carmack, B. J., Katz, R., Carlos, F., Field, N. P., & Landers, C. (2014). Online survey as empathic bridging for the disenfranchised grief of pet loss. OMEGA: Journal of Death and Dying, 69, 333–356. doi:10.2190/OM.69.4.a.

Park, R. M., Royal, K. D., & Gruen, M. E. (2023). A literature review: Pet bereavement and coping mechanisms. Journal of Applied Animal Welfare Science, 26(3), 285-299.

Written by: Romy-Michelle Unger, PsyD.

Across cultures, civilizations, and epochs, humans have ritualized their grief via elaborate and time-consuming ceremonies in which whole communities will, for a time, shift their behavior, daily habits, food choices, and even their clothing. The utility of such a practice is that it creates a temporary “container” for the grief — a limited period of time during which daily, regular life has been suspended so that the bereaved can properly mourn and acknowledge that their lives have been forever changed by the loss of their loved one. Another important feature of this is that the community holds the loss with the bereaved, often involving themselves in the ceremony and aftercare providing for those most impacted by grief.

Regardless how these practices and ceremonies have looked or expressed themselves across cultures, they serve a similar function: to create space for the bereaved to process their loss, feel supported by their community, and transition into a new reality without their loved ones’ physical presence. In contrast, our modern, industrialized culture holds very little space for grief; outside of a funeral, memorial service, or obituary, very little communal space is made for individuals to process and feel supported in their bereavement. In fact, our culture largely incentivizes folks to quickly return back to “normal,” leading people to feel pressured to return to work as soon as possible so as not to compromise productivity.

What this can mean for many people is that, after an impactful loss, they may not have community-wide support to assist them in taking time off, pausing their daily activities, and deepening into their bereavement. Of course, many people continue to stay connected to cultural and religious practices that assist the bereaved, and it’s important to lean on such supports during times of loss. For others, however, it becomes even more important to give oneself the permission to take time off, find practices that can both contain and deepen the emotional experience, and remain connected to support systems of various kinds.

Death and dying can stir up deep religious, spiritual, or existential reflections. Whether someone draws meaning from a particular tradition, a secular worldview, or something in between, finding ways to ritualize grief can offer a powerful way to process and contain it.

Part 2 will cover how to ritualize grief.

Written by: Romy-Michelle Unger, PsyD.

A ritual is defined as a pattern of actions performed according to a prescribed order. Rituals are often parts of ceremonies, which tend to be more formal observances of collectively important events or occasions, but can also be performed in a secular, private capacity. Studies have shown that rituals help enhance our sense of control and help reduce anxiety (Brooks et al., 2016; Dygalatas, Maňo, & Pinto, 2021).

This is important because death and grief are experiences that lie largely outside of our conscious control. In a culture that is so focused on individual agency, grief can feel destabilizing as it is one of the human experiences that forces us to confront the limits of the control we have over our lives. Additionally, it’s an emotional experience that has traditionally been held by the community rather than the individual, whether that’s the extended family, religious community, or local network.

In order to regain a sense of agency in our lives, it’s important to think of ways that individuals can experience their grief within a container, or vessel. While historically, religious or cultural ceremonies stood as the container, we can explore ways to ritualize our grief in our own personal ceremonies as well. Setting up a small (or elaborate) altar can serve as a physical place to "put" our feelings, as well as offer us opportunities to honor the loved one we’ve lost in the privacy of our home.

Building an emotional container for our feelings also requires setting up a beginning and end point. This can look like lighting a candle to mark the beginning of the ritual, or lighting incense that shifts the sensory experience in the space. Additionally, it’s important to have a symbolic representation of the person we lost, such as a photo of them or a treasured keepsake that reminds us of them. After we’ve marked the beginning of the ritual, we can allow ourselves to relax into the emotional experience. Hold the keepsake or photo in your sight or even physically in your hands and invite the feelings to wash over you. If you feel called to speak something into the space, do so. This is a container for your feelings, however complicated and paradoxical they may be. It’s an opportunity to speak to sadness, anger, denial and disbelief.

After some time, you may feel "cooked," so to speak — like you’ve expressed what you needed to express and that it’s time to transition. Gently blow out the candle or the incense to signify the end of the ritual. You have now symbolically marked a transition away from the grieving experience, with the understanding that you can come back at any time.

References

Brooks, A.W., Schroeder, J., Risen, J.L., Gino, F., Galinsky, A.D., Norton, M.I., & Schweitzer, M.E. (2016). Don’t stop believing: Rituals improve performance by decreasing anxiety. Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes, 137, 71-85.

Xygalatas, D., Maňo, P., & Pinto, G.B. (2021). Ritualization increases the perceived efficacy of instrumental actions. Cognition, 215, 104823.

Losing a colleague can stir up a wide range of emotions, grief, confusion, guilt or even numbness, each shaped by the nature of our relationship with the person and the context of the loss. Grief is a uniquely human experience that moves in unpredictable waves, rarely following a straight line or fixed timeline. When the person we've lost is a coworker, the emotions may be complicated by questions about how much grief is "appropriate" in a professional environment.

These internal questions are often shaped by the broader culture we live in. Grief is not only personal, it is also sociocultural. Different cultures create different structures for mourning. For example, in Iranian culture, it’s common for colleagues of the deceased to attend the funeral, pay respects to the family, and participate in collective rituals of grief and remembrance. These communal practices provide a clear container for emotional expression and shared healing (Shoraka et al., 2022). In contrast, the dominant culture in the U.S. tends to view grief as private, often placing the burden on the individual to navigate loss independently, especially when the loss occurs within a professional setting.

This can create tension for employees grieving the death of a colleague, someone they may have spent countless hours with, collaborated closely with, or simply shared everyday moments beside. It can also feel disorienting to grieve someone with whom the relationship was meaningful but existed only in the workplace, without the context of family or personal history that society typically associates with mourning.

The complexity deepens when our relationship with the colleague was particularly close or, conversely, strained. We may grieve the loss of a trusted confidant, while feeling isolated from others who didn’t share that bond. Or we may feel conflicting emotions about unresolved tensions or difficult interactions, making our grief feel messy or tinged with guilt, resentment, or confusion. All of these emotional responses are valid.

Even if we didn’t personally know the colleague who passed, it’s normal to feel shaken. Death within our workplace community often touches on larger existential questions, fears, or memories of our own losses. We may find ourselves grieving not just the person, but the stability, energy, or culture that they helped shape in our work environment.

There is no "right way" to grieve. And there’s no timeline for when we should feel "back to normal," particularly when the normal we knew has been altered by someone’s absence.

Strategies for coping with the loss of a colleague

Acknowledge and normalize your feelings: Whether you're feeling sadness, anger, guilt, confusion, or even relief, these are natural reactions. There is no hierarchy of "acceptable" emotions in grief.
Create or participate in a shared ritual: Consider lighting a candle, sharing stories, or creating a memory board with your team. Rituals don’t have to be religious to be meaningful. They can provide structure for expressing and containing loss.
Check in with colleagues: Grief often isolates. Making space to connect, even briefly, with coworkers to ask how they’re doing can foster a sense of support and shared humanity.
Give yourself (and others) grace: Concentration may be harder. Energy may dip. People may react in ways you don’t expect. Extend compassion to yourself and your team as everyone processes the loss in their own way.
Create space, if needed: Offer yourself small breaks throughout the day — whether that’s stepping outside, taking a quiet lunch, or speaking with someone you trust — to regulate and process your emotions.
Use available support resources: Many workplaces, including ours, offer confidential counseling (FSAP) or grief support resources (Spiritual Care Services). Seeking help is not a sign of weakness. It’s a powerful step toward integrating loss in a healthy way.
Honor their impact in your own way: Whether it’s reflecting on a lesson you learned from them or simply remembering a kind gesture, giving their presence continued meaning can be grounding.
Respect differences in grief styles: Some colleagues may want to talk and share. Others may prefer to process internally. Avoid assumptions and allow space for everyone’s style of coping.

Grief in the workplace is real and often underestimated. By acknowledging it, supporting one another, and creating compassionate space, we can weather loss not only as individuals, but as a community.

Reference

Shoraka, H. R., Hashemi, S. A., Asghari, D., Chegeni, M., Arzamani, N., Sadidi, N., & Kaviyani, F. (2022). Mourning during COVID-19 pandemic in Bojnurd, a City in Northeast of Iran: A qualitative study. Journal of Iranian Medical Council.

Mental Health & Wellness Article Library

Overview

Further reading

Citation

Further reading

Citations

References

References

Strategies for coping with the loss of a colleague

Reference

Mental Health & Wellness Article Library

Overview

Overcoming Procrastination: Practical Strategies for Getting Things Done

Further reading

From Uncertainty to Action: How to Make Decisions When You Feel Stuck

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Further reading

Emotional Regulation: What Is it?

Citations

Pet Grief

References

Ritualizing Grief, Part 1 - Why?

Ritualizing Grief, Part 2 - How?

References

Grief: Losing a Colleague

Strategies for coping with the loss of a colleague

Reference